big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
