What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i already hear my dad disowning me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
