is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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