i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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