I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
