So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
