I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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