I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
