Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
