She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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