I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
