Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
