I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
