Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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