She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
