I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
