someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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