We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
