Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
