Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
