ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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