Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
