He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need water and some morals
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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