last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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