wanna go halves on a baby?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
