We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
