You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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