He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
third nipple confirmed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
