if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
