Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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