I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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