So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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