I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
