I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm always down for nudity.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
