I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
