I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
