wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
