you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
