Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
