I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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