U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
