You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
