i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
