I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
