But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I could fuck to npr.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
