Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
