I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
