I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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