She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just invented taco cereal.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
