And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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